Promise Maker, Promise Breaker
by kpopluvr
Summary: ONE-SHOT: As Sodapop wanders around, he doesn't realize an important factor: he's dead. Now as he watches Ponyboy hurt over his death, he'll do anything to make his baby brother feel better. Whether or not Ponyboy realizes it. -Full summary inside.-


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders, nor "You'll Be in My Heart" sung by Phil Collins.**

**A/N: **This idea just popped into my head when I woke up, and I really wanted to write it down…

**Summary:** It would've been Sodapop's 21st birthday. But he's dead. Everyone seems to know that except for Soda. When he wakes up on October 8th, he doesn't seem to realize the obvious. When he learns what is and what's not, he seems to have a hard time accepting it. But someone's having a harder time. Ponyboy. And everyone knows that when Ponyboy's upset, Sodapop will do whatever it takes to make his brother happy. Dead or alive, Soda is determined to help his baby brother.

**Promise Maker, Promise Breaker**

**madamadadanechibisuke**

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_Come stop your crying  
It will be all right  
Just take my hand, hold it tight_

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**October 8****th****, 1970:**

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I yawned and stretched, blinking around blearily. Why hadn't Darry woke me up? I was gonna be late!

Kicking off the covers, I pulled on the first pair of jeans I saw, a white t-shirt and my DX shirt. Stuffing my DX cap on along with a pair of sneakers, I trotted into the kitchen.

Looking around, I spotted a bowl of pancake mix sitting alone on the counter. Grinning, I silently went into the cabinet and grabbed blue food dye. Dumping it in the mixing bowl, I ran out the door when I heard Darry's heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

I hid under the windowsill of the kitchen in the backyard, waiting to see his reaction. He simply looked at it, and suddenly Darry's eyes seemed wet.

Shrugging, I pulled myself up and made my way to the DX.

Walking on my hands the last few yards, I opened the shop door. A mustang was sittin' there, and I could already see Steve under the hood.

"Hey Stevie!" I made my way towards him, but someone blocked my path. "Uh, excuse me?"

I realized it was Ponyboy. He looked different…what was it?

Oh. His hair. It wasn't greased back; instead it was shaggy, and fell in bangs across his eyebrows, though it was still cut short in the back.

And there was the fact that he was pale, had bags under his eyes and seemed thinner and taller than I remembered.

Come to think of it, Darry had seemed like that too…minus the taller and thinner part. Though he wasn't as pale and the bags under his eyes weren't as prominent.

Steve's hair (along with the rest of him) was basically the same, though shorter.

I followed him towards where Steve was working. "Hey Steve. Sorry I'm late."

Steve came out from under the car and smiled at him, looking sad. "It's okay Kid. I know why."

Pony seemed to slouch down, visibly upset.

I moved to put my hand on his shoulder and ask what's eatin' him, but at the same time he moved forward to Steve. Just then, I realized Ponyboy was wearing a DX uniform.

What the fuck is going on?

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_I will protect you  
From all around you  
I will be here  
Don't you cry_

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I climbed on top of one of the customer's cars and screamed as loud as I could. No one even blinked.

Why can't anyone hear me? This has got to be some sort of sick prank, right?

I sat in a corner all day, watching my little brother and best friend work together. This has got to be some sort of twilight zone. Even I know how much they hate each other!

Pony bid Steve goodbye. I pulled myself up and followed him. He wondered slowly back to our house, staring at the clouds half the time.

I scowled at him. What a great way to get jumped by some Socs.

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_For one so small  
You seem so strong  
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
Can't be broken  
I will be here  
Don't you cry_

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Dinner was in interesting affair. I had dyed the batter yellow when no one was looking.

Ponyboy stared at his now-yellow fried chicken with damp eyes. Abruptly, he jerked away from the table and ran to our room, slamming the door shut. But that didn't sound like our room door…

Going through the hallway, I realized that he was sleeping in his old room. When he started having nightmares, he started sleeping in my room until it eventually just became "our room". Why did he move out?

Darry was home. I heard the slamming door of his truck.

Stomping off his boots, he paused at the silence. He seemed even older than he was as he frowned. "Ponyboy?"

"In my room! I'm not hungry."

Darry went into the kitchen and groaned when he saw the yellow chicken. "You didn't eat breakfast either Pone!"

"I had a big lunch!"

I cocked an eyebrow. Lying to Darry? Interesting. I knew Pony hadn't eaten lunch either. He had taken a couple of bites from a turkey sandwich before barfing it up in the toilet. Steve acted as if this were a common affair.

Darry ran a hand back through his hair in defeat. "Alright. Ponyboy, I'm going to the…" He choked on the next word, "The cemetery. You wanna go later by yourself?"

"I'll go later!"

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'_Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more_

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I sat on the top of a taxi and beat Darry to the cemetery. Trotting towards our family plot, I ended up making a quick detour and visited Johnny and Dal momentarily.

When I was done, I made my way over to Mom and Dad. What I saw next made my blood turn cold.

A new gravestone had been added next to Mom's. I leaned down and read what was written.

"_Sodapop Patrick Curtis  
October 8__th__ 1949 – September 24__th__ 1968  
Beloved son, brother and friend."_

"What the…" I flopped on the ground.

'_I'm dead?'_

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_You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart, always_

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I sat cross-legged in front of my grave, dumbfounded.

The crunch of a twig brought me out of my stupor. It was Darry.

He grunted as he sat down, right next to me. His knee touched mine.

"Hey Little Buddy," Darry whispered.

I whimpered. Little Buddy. Darry's special nickname for me. Maybe now that I'm gone he'll finally think of a nickname for Ponyboy too. Pony was always jealous that Darry seemed to love me more. Which wasn't true of course.

"We all miss you. Especially Ponyboy, the poor kid is having a tough time with all this…" Darry paused. "He's in kind of a slump right now. Two-Bit and even Steve are trying to pull him out of it. He's working at the DX part time to help me out."

I dropped my head in my hands and moaned. This isn't what I wanted for Pony at all. Goddamn war…

Wait. War! I remember!

I was shot in Vietnam by a sniper…that's how I died…oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. I can't handle this.

"—but I think it'll be okay in the end. These things take time. You remember what it was like after Johnny and Dal died…it's been two years since we lost you though. I'm worried about him—"

"Yeah…" a voice came from behind me, "I hate watching Pone like this."

I jumped up. "Johnnycakes?!"

"Hey Sodapop!" Johnny hugged me. I returned it carefully. Johnny had never been this…open.

After he let go, I stepped back. "You seem different Johnny."

"Yeah, well…" He grinned. "Things up there are a lot less stress free."

I sighed and slowly sat back down. "How come I don't remember any of it? According to them, I've been dead for almost two years!"

Johnny smiled sadly and sat in front of me. "It's because you couldn't let go Soda! You're so attached to your life, you couldn't let it go. Your brain just went on hold to figure everything out."

"What about you?" I croaked. "You know how much you meant to all of us! Especially Pony and Dally."

"Well," Johnny interlaced his fingers, "Things weren't so great for me down here, y'know? I loved y'all and everything, but even though I didn't really want to die, I just had nothing to live for. But if I knew Ponyboy would get like he is now…" He sighed. "Maybe I would've tried to hold on longer."

I felt my eyes well with tears. Damn. I always was the bawl-baby of the family. "I don't want this," I whispered, "I want to stay here. I want to be with Ponyboy and Darry and Steve and Two-Bit! They need me."

"But you belong up there with us Sodapop," Johnny said softly, "Golly but your parents and Dally be happy to see 'ya again."

I looked back longingly at my older brother. "But Ponyboy would be even happier to see me, wouldn't he?"

"You can't change fate." Johnny replied gently.

"—Two-bit got a job. Said he causes half the bills in our house anyway, might as well help pay for them. Ponyboy's working at the DX now. I feel so guilty. It's taking a lot of the kid, doing this plus his school work. — "

"I have to help Ponyboy," I said desperately, talking more to myself than Johnny. "I have to! I can't just let him be like this!"

"Well do what you can."

And with that, Johnny was gone. Guess I'd be seeing him soon…or something…I turned my attention back to Darry, who was starting to stand.

"Bye Little Buddy. I love you," He paused, "I'll be back soon."

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_Why can't they understand  
The way we feel  
They just don't trust  
What they can't explain  
I know we're different but,  
Deep inside us  
We're not that different at all_

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I sat dejectedly by my grave, staring at the gates behind me. Fucking Charlie's.

I was starting to nod off when I heard a soft voice next to me. "Hey Soda. Sorry I haven't been by in a while. I've been kinda busy lately, y'know?"

"Pony!" I shouted in relief, "Thank god you're here!"

He looked worse than I thought. His skin was so pale I was surprised I couldn't see through it. The circles under his eyes made it look like someone had given him two black eyes.

"I miss you so much," Pony began to sob. "You promised me! So how can I keep my promise now?!"

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_And you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more_

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_Pony threw himself into my arms, sobbing. "I don't want you to go!"_

_Gently I pushed him off and crouched down so I was closer to his eye level. At 15 he wasn't the tallest kid in the world. "I'm sorry Little Colt. I ain't got any choice. I don't wanna go either."_

"_You'll come back won't you?" He looked at me pleadingly, the way his eyes looked broke my heart. "You have to. I couldn't get along without you!"_

_I sighed. "Yes you would," I whispered, "Promise me, no matter what happens you'll move on."_

"_Only if you promise me something." Pony retorted stubbornly._

"_Alright. What is it?"_

_My baby brother looked into my eyes, the raw turmoil and hope so strong I couldn't look away. "Promise me you'll come back. Promise that no matter how many times you walk out that front door, no matter how long it takes, you'll come home."_

"_I promise." I sighed heavily. This was a big promise being made. One I wasn't so sure if I would be able to keep in the end._

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_Don't listen to them  
'Cause what do they know  
We need each other  
To have, to hold  
They'll see in time  
I know_

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Shit. I really gotta stop making those kind of promises.

"Oh Pone," I moaned. "You're so much smarter than this."

Ponyboy was drawing circles in the dirt, sniffling. He was doodling hearts and smiley faces.

I tried to put my arms around him, longing to pull him into my lap and tell him everything would be okay. But he couldn't even feel me or hear me.

Pony curled into a ball, sobbing and whimpering. Tears sprung into my eyes; this was my entire fault. It was my fault my baby brother was crying and whimpering like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry," He blubbered, "I broke my promise too. I know I shouldn't have! I couldn't help it!"

My hand twitched to go to his hair and run my fingers through it. But it wouldn't work. Finally the tears overwhelmed my closed eyelids. I began to sob along with my brother.

"I'm so sorry Little Colt. I'm so sorry."

After a couple of minutes of getting my breath back, I looked again at what he was drawing. Ponyboy was tracing the same three words over and over again before smudging them away. _"I love you."_ Smudge. _"I love you."_ Smudge. _"I love you." _Smudge.

Suddenly, without thinking about it, I picked up a stick and crouched next to his side. Once he smudged away the words again, I reached over and wrote in the now-smooth dirt. _"I love you too."_ And it worked. The words appeared in the dirt and stayed there.

Ponyboy looked down at the words, and burst into tears all over again. He obviously thought he was the one who wrote it by accident.

"Come back Soda! Please, come back!"

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_When destiny calls you  
You must be strong  
I may not be with you  
But you've got to hold on  
They'll see in time  
I know  
We'll show them together_

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"I want to," I cried, "I want to come back so badly!"

"You can't Soda," I cocked my head backwards. Johnny. "You can't go back." He repeated. "You're gone. There's nothing that can be done."

I got up and hugged him, burying my face in his shaggy hair. I tried to imagine it was Pony, but it just wasn't the same.

"I'm sorry Sodapop." Johnny whispered. "You have to come back with me now. Dally and your parents really want to see you."

I shook my head; face still buried in his hair. "No. I wanna stay here."

Johnny pulled out of my grip. "I'm sorry Soda. You don't have a choice. If you don't come up soon, you'll just disappear. You gotta come with me."

"I can't!"

"Yes you can," Johnny replied gently, "You just got to walk away without looking back. You did it before and you can do it again."

"And look what happened," I muttered, "I died."

"You're already dead. It's not like you can die again," Johnny pointed out.

I would've glared at him, but we don't glare at Johnny. It's just not done.

I flopped back down. "A couple more minutes." I said stubbornly.

"Fine." Johnny joined me on the ground.

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'_Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on,  
Now and forever more_

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I sat for a couple of minutes with Pony, simply looking at my grave. Finally I stood up and looked at Johnny. "Let's go."

Johnny nodded and stood up. "You can still watch him Sodapop. It's not really goodbye you know."

Kneeling down again I wrapped my arms around Pony's shoulders, ignoring the fact that he probably couldn't feel me.

Ponyboy stiffened and lifted his hands to his shoulders where my arms were placed. It was like he could feel my arms there.

Tears silently made their way down my cheeks as I hugged my brother one last time.

"I love you Little Colt," I murmured, "I always will. Take care of yourself."

Pony bowed his head. "I will." He looked at my grave determined, "I'm going to stop breaking my promise. I'll get better Soda, don't worry!"

I stood back, turned and walked towards the front gate.

Once last time, I turned away from Ponyboy and walked out the front door. Only this time, I knew I wouldn't be walking back in.

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_Oh, you'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be in my heart, always  
Always_

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Ponyboy stood up, refusing to look back at his brother's grave. He glanced towards the direction of Johnny and Dallas', and started in surprise.

Standing there on Johnny's grave was what looked like a shadow of a thin teenager. He had big dark eyes and bangs that reached his eyebrows. He winked an onyx-colored eye at Pony before taking a step back.

Ponyboy took a step forward, staring in surprise. The figure simply shook his head and backed away. He opened his mouth as he walked. With each step he mouthed a different word, and then he faded away until Pony could see nothing. The words he must have uttered when he opened his mouth finally reached Ponyboy.

"Nature's first green is gold. Her hardest hue to hold…" The voice faded away.

Pony blinked. That was it. No more chocolate cake right before bed.

**Promise Maker, Promise Breaker**

**madamadadanechibisuke**

**END.**

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**A/N:** Wow. My first ever one-shot and longest anything I've ever written. I'm so proud of myself! This idea seriously just hit me when I woke up, I have no clue how or why. Personally I'm very proud of it. I hope everyone likes it and will **Read & Review**. Please. With Sodapop on top. I might go back and revise this later. I'll probably not notice the mistakes until I see them on .

**For those who don't get the end:** For those who don't understand that last bit with Ponyboy, it was in third person obviously. Basically Pony thought he saw Johnny and thought he heard "their" poem being recited from whoever he had just seen. (Johnny's…er…"ghost" you could say, was watching Pony as Soda had been.) Somehow, he had made himself known, because Pony saw what he wanted to see.


End file.
